Half Time Bovril

So its that time of year again , the time for rumours coming from all angles Celtic are signing Ronaldinho and Rangers are signing Thierry Henry. The usual mince spouted from the club forums is in full force as per usual. It isn’t just the fans though that are at the heart of it as per usual it is the good ol’ Scottish media at the forefront of false hope and expectations when realistically we know the old firm are gonna be stuck with another Filip Sebo or Rafael Schiedt. You all know the type the ones you have seen on youtube who have done one or two pieces of class against some shite mob equivalent to our second division. But don’t fret fellow fans as per usual the hopes will be raised and destroyed.



This weeks media rumours are:



Rangers
DeMarcus Beasley
Bosko Balaban
Steven Whittiker
Steven Naismith


Celtic
Gary O’Connor
Jason Koumas


The media rumours this week seem relatively plausible (for once) and we may see some of these happen although disappointingly no massive rumour from the media as yet although I’ll be keeping my eyes peeled for next week.


The real Iritant has to be the Eejit fan the ones who just don’t understand the way the football world works, it works the same as every other business money. Scottish teams have no money in the grand scheme of things hence they cannot attract the biggest stars in the world whereas in England the mediocrity can sometimes pull off small coups as they have money . Basic logic now let us introduce a new feature into halftimebovril the eejit fan.


This weeks eejit fan suggestion has to be:


Carlos Tevez


“Not sure if this is the right section, but just read in the paper that as part of West Ham’s punishment in the Tevez and Mascherano transfer, Tevez has had his registration torn up.

Shouldn’t Rangers throw in a cheeky wee bid for him”


Taken straight from a well known Rangers forum and after much hilarity reading this through my fingers I decided that this should be used in basic sanity tests across the country ‘Would Tevez sign for Rangers?’ if the answer is yes then they should be sectioned then and there. No need to worry though as im sure the next Filip Sebo is just round the corner. Next week will see the my uncle knows the bookie who knows a guy in the corner shop who has went golfing with the ex-boyfriend of Freddy Ljungberg (and says Will Young isn’t much of a golfer btw) and he is signing for Celtic this summer …stay watching.

Stupidity of Eejit: 4/5 Laughability: 2/5 Irritability: 4/5