Half Time Bovril

So the season has began and the news has been coming out slow from us at halftimebovril due to a variety of reasons, but this hasn’t reflected the amount of controversy thats went on. From the sectarian chanting being under extreme scrutinty from the media and sporting bodies to Jimmy Calderwoods freshly tangoed skin for the new season (The discussion is made every year but has half the transfer budget been spent at the sun beds? Or is it some sort of Dutch summer concoction he has taken from his time over in Holland?) It is one of those questions like the meaning of life which will probably remain unanswered to us mere mortals.

The SPL has started off fairly as expected with the two old firm sides at the top of the table and Hearts fans not knowing who is in charge of their club. But the main topic of conversation has been due to the new Chief Executive of the SFA Gordon Smiths proposed introduction of reviewing bookings after the match caused by simulation or diving (also known as Stan Petrovs). It has been talked about by many in the media that this would contravene FIFA rules but the main aspect that has to be discussed is would this benefit the game?

Since the dawn of football it has always been a footballers competitive nature to take advantage of the opposing teams mistakes, so should this include a player taking advantage of a situation that could be considered a foul? It is really an issue that is down to opinion with several attacking players opposing the rules as it would hinder their opportunities whereas defensive players would fully back this as it would help in making their jobs easier. But would the introduction of this rule prove the opposite? Where players have made bad challenges that went unpunished and then un-reviewed? I think personally that it would imbalance the rules to have such a rule implemented unless every area and challenge would have to be reviewed and changed, but this would then make the sport all about seeing the result of the review rather than going to the game and would ruin the excitement of the 3pm on a Saturday so therefore the introduction of reviewing is one in which has to be balanced if it has to be introduced but the line has to be drawn before the game is one of which passion, excitement and drama is removed.


The next topic of discussion has been the sectarian chanting heard at Rangers first away match which has prompted a discussion into the severity of punishment which can be given to teams that have a clear discriminative element within their support. This has boiled over from last season and it really has to be addressed for the progression of the game in Scotland and Rangers have to realize that thousands of wee blue books with acceptable songs is not going to change matters. It is now time for the main element of the support to stand up and make sure that the club is not punished by this minority (and lets face it, it is a minority that actually mean what is sang). As the club cannot be tarnished with a bad name which could immediately tar the opinion of the rest of Scotland around the world with the same brush. It is not Rangers that are the only club that are to blame with this and it should be mentioned that it appears that Rangers are being made scape goats due to the size of the club, this has to be addressed around every ground around Scotland.


So with these important issues out of the way it is time to reflect on the first three games, and it looks as if Rangers have not started on a light note with a clear hunger for the title this season which will undoubtedly give a much closer battle at the top end of the table. It is only three games into the new season but the introduction of some French class such as Darcheville and Cousin who have started the season in contrast to the French fairies introduced the year before may have reinjected the SPL with a competitive nature that has been sadly lacking from one half of Glasgow for a couple of years. Celtic on the other hand started slowly with the first game of the season but have bounced back looking like they will not be expecting an easy title win this year. The statistics have shown that the club who have drawn in the first game of the season have won the league in 3 of the previous 4 years and this might suggest that it will be Celtic celebrating at the end of the year. But it has to be one of my favourite quotes from Ebbe Skovdahl that should be remembered by the other clubs “Statistics are like mini-skirts… they give you good ideas but hide the most important parts.”.

Today we saw the stage set for our teams journys through the coming season, commencing on Saturday the 4th of August. Hibs kick off with a trip to Hearts in the first Edinburgh derby of the season, whilst newly promoted Gretna host Falkirk at their temporary home for the year Fir Park. The highlight of the opening day First Division matches is Dunfermlines’ trip to Hamilton, and Colin Hendry gets his Clyde managerial career started away to Morton. There has been a return for the New Years Old Firm match which takes place at Parkhead on the 2nd of January, with the first Old Firm match taking place on the 20th of October at Ibrox.

Here are all the opening day fixtures for all four divisions:

SPL
Celtic v Kilmarnock, 15:00
Dundee Utd v Aberdeen, 15:00
Gretna v Falkirk, 15:00
Hearts v Hibernian, 15:00
Inverness CT v Rangers, 15:00
St Mirren v Motherwell, 15:00

Division 1
Hamilton v Dunfermline, 15:00
Livingston v Dundee, 15:00
Morton v Clyde, 15:00
Queen of South v St Johnstone, 15:00
Stirling v Partick, 15:00

Division 2
Airdrie Utd v Raith, 15:00
Berwick v Cowdenbeath, 15:00
Peterhead v Alloa, 15:00
Queens Park v Brechin, 15:00
Ross County v Ayr, 15:00

Division 3
Dumbarton v Elgin, 15:00
East Fife v East Stirling, 15:00
Montrose v Albion, 15:00
Stenhousemuir v Arbroath, 15:00
Stranraer v Forfar, 15:00

So its that time of year again , the time for rumours coming from all angles Celtic are signing Ronaldinho and Rangers are signing Thierry Henry. The usual mince spouted from the club forums is in full force as per usual. It isn’t just the fans though that are at the heart of it as per usual it is the good ol’ Scottish media at the forefront of false hope and expectations when realistically we know the old firm are gonna be stuck with another Filip Sebo or Rafael Schiedt. You all know the type the ones you have seen on youtube who have done one or two pieces of class against some shite mob equivalent to our second division. But don’t fret fellow fans as per usual the hopes will be raised and destroyed.



This weeks media rumours are:



Rangers
DeMarcus Beasley
Bosko Balaban
Steven Whittiker
Steven Naismith


Celtic
Gary O’Connor
Jason Koumas


The media rumours this week seem relatively plausible (for once) and we may see some of these happen although disappointingly no massive rumour from the media as yet although I’ll be keeping my eyes peeled for next week.


The real Iritant has to be the Eejit fan the ones who just don’t understand the way the football world works, it works the same as every other business money. Scottish teams have no money in the grand scheme of things hence they cannot attract the biggest stars in the world whereas in England the mediocrity can sometimes pull off small coups as they have money . Basic logic now let us introduce a new feature into halftimebovril the eejit fan.


This weeks eejit fan suggestion has to be:


Carlos Tevez


“Not sure if this is the right section, but just read in the paper that as part of West Ham’s punishment in the Tevez and Mascherano transfer, Tevez has had his registration torn up.

Shouldn’t Rangers throw in a cheeky wee bid for him”


Taken straight from a well known Rangers forum and after much hilarity reading this through my fingers I decided that this should be used in basic sanity tests across the country ‘Would Tevez sign for Rangers?’ if the answer is yes then they should be sectioned then and there. No need to worry though as im sure the next Filip Sebo is just round the corner. Next week will see the my uncle knows the bookie who knows a guy in the corner shop who has went golfing with the ex-boyfriend of Freddy Ljungberg (and says Will Young isn’t much of a golfer btw) and he is signing for Celtic this summer …stay watching.

Stupidity of Eejit: 4/5 Laughability: 2/5 Irritability: 4/5

Wednesday May 16th 2007, Hampden Park, Sevilla vs Espanyol in the Uefa Cup Final. We were there, oh yeah!

A few months earlier, in the hope that we might actually see a Scottish club in the final of the Uefa Cup, we entered into the ballot to see if we would be lucky enough to get to the show piece final. We weren’t quite as lucky as we had hoped and only got 2 tickets so Mark and Alistair trooped off to Hampden Park on a wet Wednesday night to welcome the two Spanish teams Sevilla and Espanyol to Glasgow. We arrived at the stadium at the back of 7pm to be welcomed by a sea of Spaniards, some Sevilla supporters, some Espanyol, and the rest some quality Scots there for the party! All the fans were really enjoying themselves mixing together, having a few drinks, and generally enjoying themselves even though they couldn’t bring their weather with them. On the way round to the gates we happened to notice one of the local gardens had been taken over by a Spanish television crew! They had erected a marquee for filming inside and they were lucky enough not to be annoyed by any Buckfast drinking neds, although I bet they were bloody freezing and soaking by then end of the night.

Hampden Park is certainly one of the newer, more modern stadiums in Scotland having been given a complete face lift in the 90s. It was re-opened in 1999 to its current all seater 52,000 capacity and has already seen a number of European Cup Finals, one especially when Zidane scored the wonder goal against Bayer Leverkusen in the 2002 Champions League Final.


Upon entering the stadium we were amazed at the noise the Sevilla fans were making this early. We have never experienced that level of noise before in Hampden, well apart from when Gary Caldwell scored a wonder goal against France (we had to squeeze it in somewhere). We were sitting nearer to the corner flag, just over half way back so had a pretty decent view of the whole pitch. We were once sat behind the goal in the second row, which made it virtually impossible to see the other end of the pitch, although the atmosphere at that game more than made up for it (Scotland 1 – France 0 for anyone who is interested in which game it was (might as well squeeze it in a second time)). There wasn’t any pre match entertainment, which was a wee bit disappointing, unless you class the bit of flaming beef that was the sevilla mascot dancing about as entertainment. After the warm up had finished they unfurled 2 huge banners from the roof of the north stand, each had one of the clubs emblems on them and stretched from the roof to the ground. These were then taken onto the pitch as the teams made their way out to a resounding roar from all the fans.

Hampden is renowned for hosting great finals over the years, and this one was to be just as good. The game was pretty much end to end until the middle of the second half and made for some great watching. The favourites Sevilla took the lead when a long throw from keeper Palop started Adriano on a run from the half way line on the counter attack, after some pressure from Espanyol. He coolly slotted away inside the box to score the first of 4 goals. Espanyol’s main chances were coming from the left wing through Reira, who equalised 10 minutes later after his deflected shot found the net. The first half ended all square, a fair reflection of the efforts of both teams. The second half produced no more goals, but did have the major turning point when Moises was sent off for a second bookable offence in the 68th minute. The rest of the second half was a backs to the wall effort from Espanyol as Sevilla used their superior numbers to bombard the goal, with no result. So the game went to extra time, we got our moneys worth alright! Extra time started off where the second half had finished, and Sevilla were finally rewarded when Kanoute slotted past the Espanyol keeper to give them the lead. The Sevilla fans were in full voice after this, but were silenced when Jonatas fired home a screamer from outside the box, with 5 minutes left on the clock. And so the game went to penalties, unfortunately which were taken at the other end. It was to be Sevilla’s keeper Palop’s night with him saving 3 out of 4 of Espanyol’s penalties.

Being seated in the Sevilla side made sure that we got a good view of the trophy as it was being paraded in the lap of honour. On the way out we spotted several Spanish TV camera crews and as we walked by the thought of giving them the full glaswegian experience such as the one below was strong but thankfully we managed to restrain ourselves. Overall a brilliant game in a 5-star stadium which went right to the wire.

Quality of Seat: 4/5 Quality of Banter: 5/5 Quality of Ground: 5/5 Quality of Pie: 3/5 (Really Expensive but that is to be expected) Overall: 4.5/5

So for our latest trip we thought the bets way to decide where we were going to would be to try and select a fixture at random. We ended up with Berwick Rangers vs. Elgin City, but with the thought of having to travel all the way to Berwick, when we could go to the title party at Gretna we changed our minds once again!

Again we lost a man, with Mark having to stay behind on this occasion, so it would just be myself and Jamie on the trip down the motorway. We wanted to make an afternoon of it so I decided to drive so that we were away for longer than 2 hours!

Gretna could win the 1st Division if they secured all 3 points against their title rivals St Johnstone, so a sell out was expected. Raydale park has a capacity of 3000, which is 300 more than the population of Gretna, but unsurprisingly it was full. The stadium has a lot to be desired, and is in desperate need of upgrading which it is duly getting next season. If they gain promotion they will need to increase it to 6000 capacity to meet SPL standards. There are 2 stands, one completely seated at the end, with another partly seated, partly standing running the length of the pitch on one side.

We took our place in the standing area for the beginning of the match to be greeted by a giant cock on the pitch. And no we aren’t meaning Chic Young, who was also there. The match kicked off with Gretna pressing well and striking the bar inside the first 15 minutes, but that was about as close as Gretna came for the rest of the match. Some of the hardcore Gretna fans proceeded to abuse the linesman, in a fashion we’ve regularly seen, but the poor guy hadn’t had a decision to make, so not sure what they had against him. Jason Scotland opened the scoring when his shot took a huge deflection, caring it past the Gretna keeper. It didn’t take much longer for Scotland to double his tally before half time when he latched onto a through ball, and slotting calmly past the keeper. We thought this might have given Gretna a kick up the arse, but unfortunately it didn’t, and the second half continued with a lack lustre display from Gretna, and even when St Johnstone were reduced to 10 men they still couldn’t break them down. St Johnstone sat back, defending well, and releasing the ball to Scotland who was able to turn whoever was marking him as if he wasn’t even there. The final whistle came, and a swift exit was made, and not before long we were home again, reflecting on what could have been if we had gone to the 0-0 draw at Berwick.

About the only good thing about the day was the fact it was blazing sunshine, which we hope we see a lot more of on our future travels.

Quality of Seat: 1/5 Quality of Banter: 2/5 Quality of Ground: 1/5 (It will be getting reconstructed next season if Gretna gain promotion) Quality of Pie: 2/5 Overall: 2/5